Reflections from the Heart of the Empire: Bloodyminded Absurdity

President Joe Biden was asked yesterday if the air strikes on the Houthis in Yemen were working to deter them from attacking shipping in the Red Sea. Genocide Joe eloquently answered:

When you say working, are they stopping the Houthis? No. Are they going to continue? Yes.

• Plain English translation: We really have no clue about WTF we are doing. (sniff!) Did I ever tell you how much I love the scent of young girls’ hair?

• The New York Times bemoaned that Trump voters are depriving themselves of the paper’s wisdom by refusing to read it, and are therefore responsible for destroying democracy.

• Nikki Haley celebrated her third place finish in Iowa by declaring that the Republican primary was now a two-person race. Now Ron Desantis is channeling Rodney Dangerfield;

  

• “She(Nikki Haley) is going to get smoked.”—Chris Christie on an open mike. Stopped clock. Twice a day.

• Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky announced that total Russian withdrawal from Ukrainian territory, including Crimea, was a precondition to peace. Meanwhile, back in Moscow,

• Not to be outdone in the diplomatic silliness competition, the European Union announced a peace plan calling for Hamas to dismantle itself as a precondition. I reached out to Hamas for comment, and only got this;

  

• Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu responded to the Biden Administration’s call for a two-state solution by saying

  In any future arrangement … Israel needs security control of all territory west of the Jordan [River], …This collides with the idea of sovereignty. What can you do?”

  Plain English translation: Israel shall be cleansed of Arabs, from the River to the Sea. Clearly, there is no ethnic cleansing or genocide going on here, and anyone who says otherwise wants to kill all Jews everywhere.

• Democratic loyalists on Democratic Underground responded to Netanyahu’s rebuke of their demigod Genocide Joe by saying things like “Fuck you, Bibi.” It’s nice to know some websites are consistent.

• National Security spokesman and certified vampire John Kirby, ignoring that excellent advice from DU, responded on Air Force One,

This is not a new comment by Prime Minister Netanyahu. We obviously see it differently. We believe that the Palestinians have every right to live in an independent state with peace and security.

• John Kirby must be talking about Palestinians in an alternate universe. Either that or he is (gasp!) lying through his teeth and practicing mesmerism. You have a duty to BELIEVE…

  

• Democrats damned Republican voters in Iowa for giving Donald Trump the greatest margin of victory in Iowa caucus history and therefore bringing America one step closer to a Fascist dictatorship.

• These same Democrats had already established their democratic credentials by canceling their own Iowa caucus, thereby proving that democracy can only be saved by not having elections.

• Trump responded by doing what he does best, literally selling his name, yours for ONLY $19.95! Call now!

• The State Department has announced the formation of The Framework to Counter Foreign State Information Manipulation(say that fast five times, I dare you). They even have a bullshit fake fact sheet.

• It must have taken at least six committee meetings to come up with that one.

Committee(noun): Any organism with six or more legs and no brain.—Robert A. Heinlein

• There’s already a Framework to Counter Our Own Deep State’s Information Manipulation, which includes journalists who practice journalism and places like Substack that honor the First Amendment.

  We just don’t have the advantage of a pompously stupid name designed by a committee of Very Credentialed People.

Stay attentive, stay skeptical, stay ornery, and keep your minds free. Thank you for reading, have a great weekend, and if you are under a winter storm warning as I am, stay warm.