Reflections from the Heart of the Empire: Dances of Depravity

Plus more evidence cats have nine lives

• Over a dozen people, including at least two children, were killed when the Israelis made thousands of pagers in Lebanon explode in the most precision-targeted anti-terrorist operation in world history, according to The Book of Zionist Doublethink.

• The next day they did it again, and since they seem to really, really want a war with Hezbollah and hopefully Iran, they bombed a Beirut suburb on Saturday, killing at least 38 more innocent Lebanese people.

• Kamala Harris expressed her concerns over the loss of life by going to the friendliest possible interview on the planet with Oprah Winfrey, and made the Guinness Book of World Records by constructing the largest word salad bar in record time.

Even Oprah couldn't save Kamala the Drunken Slut from herself

• Now, I don’t know whether she was drunk or not, but if she was I really would like to have a shot of that stuff before my next DEI meeting at work.

• Oprah’s interview makes a grand total of two for $kamala since her coronation in Milwaukee in August. This, according to very sexily named and therefore totally honest campaign spokesperson Keisha Lance-Bottoms, is because Harris is “a very busy person.”

• Busy at what? It’s certainly not governing. Maybe it’s giggling at all of the jokes that can be written about lances and bottoms. Yeah, that’s gotta be it.

• Donald Trump countered by going to North Carolina to tell women their lives under the next Trump Administration will be hugely

• He cleverly proved this by appearing without Lieutenant Governor and Republican gubernatorial candidate Mark Robinson, who was accused by CNN of posting he was a “black Nazi” and supported reinstating slavery back about the time Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was demonstrating his blackface performance skills.

• In a classic example of the Friday Afternoon News Dump, the Secret Service issued a report saying that “communications failures” and “a lack of due diligence” allowed the first assassination attempt on Trump in Pennsylvania to happen.

• Kenyan President William Rufo went to Haiti to visit Kenyan troops who apparently aren’t having much luck imposing the US Empire’s will there.

• Fun fact: The US Empire first sent troops to Haiti in 1915, ordered there by lover of Birth of a Nation and hater of the First Amendment Woodrow Wilson, in order to keep American corporate profits up and the Haitian people down. The troops stayed for 19 years, and some 15,000 Haitians died.

• Former British Prime Minister Boris Johnson said it “was over for Russia,” which will now have to accept defeat at the hands of brave little Ukraine. Perhaps this is because the US is set to announce another $6 billion in weapons going to Ukraine this week. Surely that will do the trick!

• Oopsie! Just kidding. Those weapons have to get there first, and CNN reports that they aren’t in the American inventory. Plain English translation: They haven’t been manufactured yet.

• This is the fun part about systematically corrupt imperial systems—the grifters frequently become the grifted.

• Note to eager US Empire puppets everywhere: YOU are expendable. Look what’s happening to this poor dumb bastard.

• China’s Tik Tok deleted all RT and Sputnik accounts to comply with US Empire sanctions on Russia, and Russia is denouncing this latest assault on free speech.

  Andrew Korybko
  describes it well, as usual.

Russia Is Furious That China’s TikTok Just Deleted RT & Sputnik’s Accounts

• Why did China allow this to happen now? I’ll let

  Ben Norton
  answer that one. In short, the Attack China First American imperialists got a lot of really stupid shit through the US House of Representatives.

Cold War II: US Congress passes 25 anti-China laws in 1 week, funds propaganda campaign

• Former European Central Bank president and Italian prime minister Mario Draghi issued a 400 page report on the EU’s economic competitiveness, and it’s chock full of fun stuff.

  • Somehow, the EU lost its natural gas supply from Russia. Just…lost it. Nobody can figure out how. Since all good US Empire loyalists have consigned the destruction of the Nordstream Pipeline to their mandatory memory holes, the only possible explanation is that all that gas was just lost to some unexplained natural disaster or something.

  

  • Who could have known that energy costs would rise and industries would shut down? It’s not like any kind of energy shortage has ever happened before at any time in human history.

  (Below: A common sight in the US in October 1973)

  

  • For some strange reason, Europe is spending a lot more money on its military instead of on things European people actually want, and this has resulted in a quandary…

If Europe cannot become more productive, we will be forced to choose. We will not be able to become, at once, a leader in new technologies, a beacon of climate responsibility and an independent player on the world stage. We will not be able to finance our social model. We will have to scale back some, if not all, of our ambitions. This is an existential challenge...

• Plain English translation for all EU citizens: You will own nothing and you will like it. Bow to your god.

• Unfortunately, at least one German judge fails to understand the desperate need to memory hole bad memories and to censor wrongthink. Journalist CJ Hopkins’ shocking acquittal for publishing a book showing a swastika on a Covid mask, as a satire on German government Covidiocy, was upheld. Seriously, check out the legal opinion if you’re interested in learning a little about German law.

Political Justice in New Normal Germany

• Contrast that to Israel’s brilliantly underwhelming argument that the International Criminal Court has no jurisdiction over them because Israel is quite capable of investigating itself, thank you very much, and they did and found no genocide anywhere, so if you don’t believe them you want to kill all the Jews in the world.

• In France, Macron’s government finally announced a new Cabinet to implement all the same policies that French voters definitively rejected just 11 weeks ago. French Socialist leader Oliver Faure said the new government is

  a reactionary government that gives democracy the finger.

• Exactly! It’s so nice to see French voters treated with the same contempt from their ruling classes that Americans are by ours. Misery loves company and I sure do feel a lot of company right now.

• French environmentalists showed far more sense than their compatriots who took to the streets to protest Macronian authoritarianism. They were much more photogenic when they blocked cruise ships from the port of Marseilles for a few hours because pollution from cruise ships is so much more dangerous than authoritarian governments or genocides.

• The CIA is saying that Russia is using Mexico as a base to launch spy operations into the United States. In support of this claim, the agency brought up Trotsky’s assassination by a Stalinist agent in 1940, two Americans caught spying for Russia in Mexico in the 1970s and 90s, and one Mexican scientist who plead guilty to spying for Russia two years ago.

• That’s almost as much proof as there is proof of an ancient Atlantean device making ships disappear in the Bermuda Triangle.

• 

  The Teamsters Union comprehended material reality and declined to endorse either major party candidate for president of the United States.

Unfortunately, neither major candidate was able to make serious commitments to our union to ensure the interests of working people are always put before Big Business.—Teamsters General President Sean O’Brien

• Finally, a cat with the…I’ll just say interesting… name of Rayne Beau was found 60 days and 800 miles away from Yellowstone National Park, where he was separated from his family on a camping trip. Once again, no one knows how a cat traveled so far so fast and in apparently good health. Vive le mestere!

Thank you for reading, good day or night, and good luck.

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