Reflections from the Heart of the Empire: Faceplants

Plus a happy canine reunion, and avocados

• Joe Biden and Donald Trump did something on CNN that was called a “debate,” but it was really a marketing test on Biden’s political viability by the Democratic Party, and the results are in:

• Don’t worry, Democrats, you’re going to have so much fun over the next couple of months! First, the suspense over whether Dementia Joe will willingly decline your nomination, which he will, after Jill is told that things will get very bad for the Biden Crime Family if he doesn’t. Then the suspenseful angst over who your high priests and priestesses will select, and then you will fall in love as instructed, though some of you will say how tortuous it was for you. I can hardly wait.

• Barbarous prediction: It’ll be Governor Gavin Goodteeth Newsom of California. Vice-President Kamala Giggles will become Governor Giggles of California as a consolation prize. Just look at them snappers on the Gav!

  

• Estonian Prime Minister Kaja Kallas, who just last month said sending NATO troops into Ukraine was nothing to worry about, was nominated to be the EU’s next High Representative for Foreign Affairs and Security Policy, undoubtedly by French President Emmanuel Macron, who is clearly smitten.

• Fun facts: Kallas has an abysmal approval rating of 16% in Estonia, while Macron is soaring by comparison at 33% in France. Apparently, neither the Estonian nor French people are exactly enthusiastic about getting into another losing war with Russia. Who knew?

• Speaking of France, Macron’s neoliberal party got creamed in the first round of the snap elections he called, with the National Rally coming in first with 33% of the vote and the leftist New Popular Front second at 28%. Macron’s party garnered 21%.

• That’s OK. At least that won’t stop the French from clearing the homeless out of Paris so Olympics tourists don’t have to see them. I’m so proud of them. It’s such an American thing to do.

• Just hours after 200 Kenyan police arrived in Haiti to restore order for the US Empire, they were welcomed by a nice bonfire of a nearby abandoned city hall.

• Yes, this is a UN Security Council-approved mission and both Russia and China abstained when it was voted upon. Why would they do this? Simple:

Never interrupt you enemy while he is making a mistake.—Napoleon

• Damn that Napoleon. He taught the Russians far too well.

Oh putain!

• There are credible reports that Israel is deliberately starving Palestinian prisoners as well as the general population of Palestinian women and children in Gaza. Fortunately, the US House of Representatives acted to shield us from such upsetting news by voting for a measure to bar US diplomats from citing numbers from the Gaza Health Ministry.

• Federal Judge Ramona Manglona told Julian Assange at his sentencing hearing,

First, timing matters, I will say this, if this case were brought before me some time near about 2012 or thereabouts, without the benefit of what I know now, which is that you’ve actually served a period of imprisonment, that based on what we’ve just discussed is at least five years, at apparently one of the harshest facilities in the United Kingdom, would it be fair to say it’s possibly equivalent to the Bureau of Prisons, supermax, that is a significant fact.

• Well, considering this is a photo of Assange’s cell at Belmarsh prison in the UK, I guess that figures.

• To his credit, Assange told the judge that he thought the First Amendment and the Espionage Act contradict each other, which they obviously do.

• The Biden Administration has decided to send Israel a bunch of 500 pound bombs instead of 2000 pound bombs. These kinder, gentler bombs show exactly how much better people Democrats are than Republicans, who always believe bigger is better, the louts.

• Former Bolivian president and current candidate Evo Morales said that current President Luis Arce staged the recent coup attempt against himself.

• TikTok recently blocked a speech by Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro about opening a new road, of all things, but videos of Israeli soldiers committing atrocities are still OK. Good for TikTok. Atrocities always get better ratings than boring new roads.

• California’s famous and beautiful Highway 101 was closed for hours after a truck overturned and spilled 8 tons of avocados on the road.

• Finally, a dog that disappeared in Maryland two years ago was found by authorities in Florida and returned to her human. How the dog made it all the way to Florida is unknown, but who cares? Both appear happy at the reunion.

• Just one more thing! Special shout-out of thanks to new followers in Brazil, Ghana, Russia, Saudi Arabia, the Phillipines, Australia, New Zealand, Spain, France, the UK, Ireland, Morocco, and Canada eh. Plus all of you in the States, from Montana to Mississippi. I appreciate all of y’all.

Thank you for reading, good day, Happy July, and good luck.

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