Reflections from the Heart of the Empire: It's Just the Normal Chaos

Plus a container ship for a yard decoration and a very lucky sea turtle

• Israel mucked up an assassination attempt on a Palestinian doctor by bombing her home when she was at work, but that’s OK, since they did manage to kill 9 out of her 10 children in spite of her demonic cleverness.

  • It’s so nice to have such resourceful and flexible allies, is it not? For example, the Israelis heard the Lebanese were feeling neglected so they bombed them as well. There’s flexibility for you.

• The oldest trick in the American political playbook is for the powerful to tell working class white people, “At least you don’t have it as bad as they do,” and “Your hard times are caused by those people, not us.”

  • It started in the 1630s, and if you are American and still thinking this, you need to look in a mirror and see a sucker.

    

• Vladimir Putin announced that Russia will establish a “buffer zone” between itself and Ukraine, whatever that means. I don’t think Putin himself knows exactly what it means yet.

• Trump threatened Europe with 50% tariffs within a week. Even he doesn’t know if he is blustering or not. Supply chain disruptions will therefore continue, and the next time you go to Wal-Mart and see empty shelves, Trump’s the main reason.

  

• That picture looks familiar. I wonder why? Oh. Moscow.

  

• A Federal Judge blocked Trump’s executive order banning Harvard University from accepting foreign students.

• Secretary of State and anti-Castro Cuban clown Marco Rubio announced that Chevron will lose its US license to operate in Venezuela on May 27. Chevron’s not happy. There are two lessons here:

  • You know it’s getting weird when Chevron is the Voice of Reason.

  • Anti-Castro Cubans have no business shaping American foreign policy because their first loyalty is to a foreign country that has not existed since 1958. Need I comment on the delusion on display?

• The top Romanian court validated the election of the EU puppet candidate for President because of course they did. The opposition candidate called for “peaceful protests,” and Russia called it “weird.”

  • IOW, it was rigged, therefore it was a normal US Empire election. Nothing weird about that at all, Russia. What’s wrong with you?

• A grand total of 59 white South Africans have taken Trump up on his offer to come to the US as refugees from a genocide against white people which is so well-concealed that most white South Africans have not noticed.

• That’s right, world. Only the best and the brightest are allowed to come to America, where the streets are paved with potholes gold. I love these people. They make me look like I’m in shape.

• But if you are an Afghan comprador who served the Empire, you get to learn to love the Taliban.

  • There’s no justice like Trump’s justice. It’s the bigliest and bestest justice ever, not quite as good as Bust the Deal, Spin the Wheel yet, but he’s working on it. Have faith! Long live the Empire!

    

• Meanwhile, China is working on closer economic ties with Indonesia. And Vietnam, Japan, South Korea, Australia, and more who seem suddenly receptive. Why this is happening is a total mystery, like why Palestinian hospitals are disappearing.

• Also in China, they’re building cultural spaces like libraries where people can actually go instead of diving into virtual reality. This must be very upsetting to Jeff Bezos, who thinks because we have Amazon we don’t need libraries anymore. (below: library in Shanghai)

  

• Germany sent troops to Lithuania to help defend NATO borders. Hey, Poland! How’s it feel to have German troops on both sides of you now? Brings back good memories, don’t it?

  

• Congratulations to Burkina Faso President Ibrahim Traore! You’ve annoyed the US Empire so much that Newsweek did a special on you! I think they screwed up though. They think this quote makes you look bad:

A slave who cannot assume his own revolt does not deserve to be pitied. We do not feel sorry for ourselves, we do not ask anyone to feel sorry for us.

• A Norwegian man woke up to find a container ship in his front yard. Authorities say the one guy at the ship’s helm fell asleep. I think he was texting.

  

• Finally, some very nice people in North Carolina scraped off over a pound and a half of barnacles from a green sea turtle that was found on the beach. Now, if they could only do that to our barnacles in Congess.

Thank you for reading, good day or night, and good luck.

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