Reflections from the Heart of the Empire: Collapsing Narratives and Skullduggery

plus the sad end of panda wake-up calls

• Glastonbury Festival organizers were properly “appalled” when the singer Bob Vylan said “Free, free Palestine” and “Death to the IDF!”

  

  • As an American, I’m just glad whenever anybody shouts Death to Something Other than America. Everybody needs a break, so thanks, guy whose last name rhymes with villain!

• New York City Democrats nominated an anti-Zionist Muslim Social Democrat named Zohran Mamdani for Mayor in spite of all of the 9/11/2001-style anti-Muslim smears thrown at him by AIPAC.

  • Americans hate old, tired reruns, but our establishment is full of geriatric patients who think 9/11 was last week. They don’t even realize they need new smears.

• But wait! AIPAC’s getting reinforcements! Trump called Mamdani “a pure Communist,” and threatened to cut off all Federal funding for the City if Mamdani wins.

  • Pure Communist? That’s an even older and tireder rerun, Donnie Boy. Kind of like you.

    

• Trump also told Israel in no uncertain terms NOT to force his best buddy Genocide Ben to stand trial for corruption schemes so vast that even most Israelis are amazed by their scope.

• Ah, the Donnie/Bibi bromance just makes me feel all gushy inside.

  

• The Zionist effort to redefine anti-Semitism has succeeded brilliantly. From The Barbarian’s Dictionary of the 21st Century American Language: anti-Semitic, syn.—see anti-Genocidal.

  • A complimentary response from Zionists to ordinary decent people, as in,

    • Ordinary person: I don’t like my tax dollars being used to starve children to death.

    • Zionist: You’re anti-Semitic!

    • Ordinary person: Of course I’m opposed to genocide. Thank you so much for the compliment!

• Iran announced that 71 people were killed when Israel bombed a prison last week, including guards, inmates, and visiting family members. Israel replied they were only trying to help the inmates to escape.

  

• China had a soccer game between two teams of humanoid robots, though at first I thought the Chinese had somehow managed to form two teams from ranking members of Congress.

• Europe is undergoing yet another serious heat wave. Yet European leaders are increasing their military spending instead of on something that would make the lives of their citizens much more bearable. Europe! Meet my favorite household god:

  

• Iran’s deputy foreign minister said there will be no more talks with the Trump Administration until the latter swears off more attacks on Iran. Such spoil sports! Iranians clearly have no understanding of our MIC’s version of fun.

• Over a third of the residents of Tuvalu have applied for permanent immigration visas to Australia because their islands are literally being submerged by rising sea levels.

  

• The US Empire is trying to negotiate a mining concession deal between the US, the DR Congo, and Rwanda in order to Make Grifting African Minerals Great Again.

  • Don’t hold your breath. The US Government has successfully avoided understanding Africans for its entire existence.

• Argentina’s President and Running Dog Lackey of the Imperialist Regime Javier Milei is considering allowing the US Navy to establish a base on Tierra del Fuego, the southernmost tip of the country.

  • All those king penguins down there must be a hazard to navigation or something.

    

• There was no doubt a sequel to The Hunger Games in the works, but there’s not much point in making it now since Israel is already staging those at shooting ranges food distribution centers in Gaza.

• Israel delenda est.

• A new poll in Ukraine finds that 56% of Ukrainians are now willing to compromise with Russia, meaning they are willing to let Russia keep Crimea and the other regions it has occupied in exchange for peace.

  • So much for the North Atlantic Fella Organization(NAFO) of Fascist Ukrainian propagandists. But maybe, just maybe, one unit can be allowed to survive.

    

• The 2026 World Humanist Congress has been moved from Washington to Ottawa because who wants to risk having their phones and laptops confiscated by ICE?

  • Trust me, atheists are not the only ones cancelling scheduled conventions, and their accompanying travel industry revenue, in the United States. I certainly don’t blame them. I won’t even fly anymore.

• Finally, a Chinese hotel was ordered to stop using red pandas for its wake-up call service. Imagine waking up to one of these on your chest instead of your cat.

  

Thank you for reading, good day or night, and good luck.

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