Confirming weeks of speculation and fantasies in Western media, sources say that Putin was seen buying babushka clothes at a Moscow thrift store. This means that he plans to try to sneak out of Russia dressed as a grandmother. The Kremlin of course denies these reports but they lie all the time so that mean this story is true.
Weeping and demoralized, Putin lamented that there was now “not one bullet left in the entire country of Russia” according to intelligence sources. Russian forces are reduced to hurling rocks and hurtful insults because of Putin’s gamble which was described as both “insanely impetuous” and “premeditated”.
Russian troops training in Belarus are practicing their best verbal insults in the absence of weaponry and ammo — “Your mother wears Nazi combat boots!” and simply “Kiev!”, the long-standing but now incredibly hurtful pronunciation of Ukraine’s capital city.
The same Western sources simultaneously demanded increases to US and NATO military spending by one trillion USD to counter the threat posed by Russia’s exhausted, over-rated, ineffective and ammo-less military.
Reprinted with permission from Average Gazoo on www.jackpineradicals.com