My Social Security Retirement Saga: Part III

A better experience than I had expected

Back in March, I reported on my opening experiences with applying for Social Security retirement.

My telephone appointment was yesterday. The phone rang maybe three minutes past the appointment time, and it went smoothly.

The only holdups were little things like proving I am who I say I am, that I’m married to my wife, and that yes, I really did serve as a mercenary for Big Oil by obtaining a job in the United States Navy many moons ago.

Fortunately for me, that was easily accomplished by making an appointment to go into my local Social Security office(on S. Waterloo Rd in Cleveland, BTW), which is a maximum 20 minute drive from my house if I hit every red light, which I did.

Luckily, that was the only appearance the Demon Murphy made on my behalf.

I got there on time, checked in at their touchscreen kiosk underneath pictures of JD Vance and Donald Trump, in that order from left to right, with the one of Trump’s angry face crookedly tilted at about a 30 degree angle.

Tempting as it was to just turn the whole thing upside-down, I was deterred by security cameras all over the place. Call me a coward, but I didn’t want to be accused of calling for the assassination of the President or anything so I left it alone.

I waited maybe 20 minutes, then was called to a window, where a very pleasant woman took my official birth certificate and marriage license and drivers license and DD-214 showing I was honorably discharged from the Most Expensive Canoe Club in the history of the world, made copies, returned the originals to me, and informed me that everything appeared to be in order.

So my whopping less than $1400 a month will start coming in sometime next month. Had it not been for the Social Security Fairness Act, which was cosponsored by Ohio Senator Sherrod Brown and the guy whose picture was straight at the Social Security office, less than $900 a month would be coming from Social Security to prevent me from “double-dipping” into two retirement programs that I paid for.

That $1400 figure is after income taxes on my retirement income, which Trump promised to abolish, but there is no mention of that in his “big, beautiful bill” that looks like it may be voted down as it deserves.

I should also note that I am fortunate indeed to live so close to a Social Security office. There are millions of Americans who have to drive over a hundred miles to get to one of the things.

Nonetheless, Musk’s ballyhooed initiative to shutter Social Security offices, and abolish both telephone and walk-in appointments to force everyone to apply online only, seems to have quietly gone into the dustbin of history.

None of that was visibly reported on; I only know it because I’ve lived it.

My advice to Americans thinking of retiring in this year of 2025 who don’t want to try to navigate all the online triple security verifications every time you log on to their website is to call for a telephone appointment at least three months in advance if you can, and to make damned sure you’re not in a dead zone when they call.

I hope this helps somebody somewhere.

That’s all. Thank you for reading, good day or night, and good luck.

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