Just Like Reagan, Trump Will Grant Amnesty to Millions of Illegal Immigrants

This is great news for satirists

Once upon a time, there was an American President who had been elected, in part, to stop a wave of criminal immigrants surging into the country and doing all sorts of Bad Things.

He said all the right, tough things, and started new interdiction programs to stop all of these bad people, many from Central America and the Caribbean, from coming to the US. Eventually he was re-elected, and less than two years later granted millions of illegal immigrants amnesty so they could stay in the US legally. Forever.

The criminal immigrants were the Cuban Boatlift, when Castro emptied his jails and allowed all sorts of Cubans to flee to Florida in the last years of Jimmy Carter’s presidency. South Florida was changed forever and Miami Vice surged to the top of television ratings.

The president was one Ronald Reagan. In 1986, he pushed through an amnesty for all illegal immigrants who had been living in the US since before 1982. IOW, if you were here illegally and hadn’t been caught for four years, hey presto! You’re legal now!

Donald Trump models himself on Ronald Reagan. He stole Make America Great Again from Reagan, and he imagines himself as Biggest, Bestest Reagan-style president ever because Reagan was so popular. Stopping illegal immigration and deporting the ones already here was his most popular campaign issue last year.

And just like Reagan, Trump is going to grant amnesty to millions of them.

ICE’s well-publicized roundups of migrants in places like California have terrified migrant workers everywhere. They’re afraid to show up for work, and there are just not enough American citizens who will work for beans to harvest our crops, build our new homes, rebuild our old ones, and clean our hotel rooms.

Big Agra, smaller farmers, construction companies, and hotel chains have been screaming bloody murder. Oligarchs whose incomes depend on those enterprises have made phone calls and maybe gone to Mar-a-Lago for a round of golf with the Prez. And Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is heeding their call.

The first step is a new office in the Department of Labor, to assist employers in getting work visas cleared for their immigrant laborers.

It won’t be enough because it’s still an extra hoop for those workers to jump through, and ICE’s terror-inducing crackdowns have made too many too fearful of the Federal Government to approach any Federal agency. Some level of trust must be restored first.

All those oligarchs will tell Trump that, and he will do what they want him to do—grant an amnesty to millions of illegal immigrants—even if he doesn’t call it an amnesty. It has to be something easy so those workers will stop fearing ICE and show up for work.

It has to be something like Reagan did, and since Reagan was the Second Greatest President Ever after Trump according to Trump, Trump will emulate him. It’s only a matter of time.

I look forward to it myself. I just saw Alex Jones and that Shapiro character twisting themselves into knots which even Houdini couldn’t escape to justify the Trump Administration’s declaration that the Epstein Files never existed.

Just imagine the entertaining positions they will assume to justify Trump’s amnesty for all of those dangerous maids and farm and construction workers. It’s going to be a satirical smorgasbord.

I positively quiver with anticipation.

Thank you for reading, have a good day or night, and good luck.

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